“Mathematics, take a break, the doggerel has come back !”
Today I start to fill my pail.
Through the next test I will sail.
Common sense must then prevail:
I’ll clear my brain of what’s now stale
To make some space inside the pail.
For competence, the holy grail,
Ensures that I will never fail,
Though moving forward like a snail.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The whole damn thing’s to no avail.
Mary’s mother brought a pizza
For her little kiddies, two.
“Johnny, you can have threequarters.
Mary, just a half will do.”.
Then the kiddies started eating.
Soon Mary grabbed her final piece.
“That’s mine” screamed Johnny, then the fighting
Broke the tranquil mealtime peace.
How much pizza then was eaten?
How much pizza on the floor?
Mother swore and left the building.
“I should have ordered just one more”.
a, the name for area
b, a letter much less used
c, a constant now called b
d, in calculus abused
e, for exponential growth
f and g, they’re functions both
and so we get to h
– – – – – – – – – – – – – –
h, the one that tends to 0
but it never quite gets there
i and j, are indices
k, with h a jolly pair
then a lot we will skip past
x and y are here at last
and we’re learning math so fast.
and in case you don’t get the tune, here it is backwards
em, yar, hod
Merry Christmas to all my followers
I did the sums, no hesitation.
But then it asked for explanation.
“I know it’s right”, I wrote down fast,
“I understood from first to last!”.
“I’m going to be a mathematician,
“Not a fingernail technician!”.
As h approaches zero
I quietly despair.
It really is the limit.
Please don’t take me there.
The funny thing about the calculus is that it was brought into existence by Isaac Newton in 1666 or earlier, and was developed and used without the idea of limits for over 150 years. The first attempt to get rid of the troublesome infinitesimals was by Cauchy in 1821, where he introduced the chord slope (f(x + h) – f(x))/h. The whole business of finding a satisfactory definition of the derivative was finally achieved by Weierstrass in the mid 19th century.
So here we go with cubics, and the same approach can be used for any whole number power of x, even negative ones. You should try it.
Next time sin(x) and cos(x), so no more sin(h)/h stuff.
That most strange place, infinity,
Is somewhere I don’t want to be.
I’d rather stay with Brouwer
In his ivory tower.
and for something lighter try Heavy Man
Could I move this trapezoid
To that one, in the endless void?
I tried translation and rotation.
Then I had a crazy notion.
I would pass a rigid motion.
Result – a lovely hemorrhoid.
In the morning Johnny’s mom
Said “Here’s six candies for your break.
“Give your sister half of them”.
Now Johnny’s brain is on the make.
He gives her one, and then another.
Little sister stamps her feet!
“And the last one!” says his mother.
“Damn” thinks Johnny, “I can’t cheat!”.
Later that day
“Johnny, what is half of six?”.
“Well, go get out six lego bricks
“And make a row.
“Now break the row right in the middle.
“That’s half the row.
“Just split the half and count the bricks”.
“I got three”.
“So now you see, three’s half of six”.
But does he know?
When adding two fractions
Take care, delay your actions.
You must allow the whole
To exercise its role.
(Possibly and unwittingly owing something to Ogden Nash)
It’s doggerel time again, this time with apologies to Harry Graham, who apparently didn’t write the original “Oh mama dear, what is that mess ……”. See allpoetry
“Oh Mommy dear, what are these sums you can’t do anymore?”
“Hush,hush my child, just do your best, It’s called the Common Core.”